On Saturday October 18th I entered my 7th bodybuilding competition. Rather than hold you in suspense I’ll let you know up front that I did not place well. In fact, I didn’t really place at all. Four different rounds of girls were called out, myself and a few others were left standing. This was the absolute worst placing I’ve ever gotten at a competition. I’m finding it very difficult to find the words to describe how I feel about this last competition. Initially I felt like a fool. Like, who do you think you are that you could bulk for 3 months, then take only a few weeks to shed fat then come out here and place. What were you thinking??? Next I started feeling again that competing should be left to all the girls in their twenties that have never had children. People like me just need to be banned from it. It’s not meant for us. I felt like that’s what the judges were trying to tell me by keeping me on the blue line and calling out everyone else. “You really don’t belong here. Please go home.” I could sit here and feel like a fool. I could feel sorry for myself. But that would be ridiculous. I should and have always felt that competing is a privilege. I feel lucky to even be able to get out there and compete. Competing is a hobby that I love and it’s the one thing I do that’s just for me. Many don’t understand it or think that I’m absolutely nuts for doing it, and that’s ok. All I ask is that you respect it. Respect the fact that you don’t understand it but that it requires an extremely high level of discipline and commitment as well as an innate sense of self. Perhaps that’s why I love it so much.
I picked up my son on Sunday and one of the first things he asked me was if I placed at my competition. I told him that I didn’t and in trying to be a good example to my son I tried to show no disappointment. He asked me if I still planned on competing in the Lackland show in November. I told him that I wasn’t sure and I asked him what he thought I should do. I will never forget his response to me. He says “well, I think you should because it makes you happy. It’s like you always tell me, don’t stop doing something you enjoy just because someone else says you’re not good at it. Don’t listen to other peoples negativity.” Soooooo, that pretty much says it all. I’ll be preparing for my next competition on November 8th.